food
from June 2008

Do real men eat quiche? My dad does, in fact that’s exactly what he orders every Saturday in the restaurant I waitress in. I’m fascinated by what people eat, and why - partly because of my background in nutrition, partly because I’m a nosy moo. Now, during my many years of waiting on folks in various guises, I’ve really noticed how different men and women’s eating habits are. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but often when I serve people, usually heterosexual couples, I have made mental notes of some interesting differences. Here are my findings: husband orders full English breakfast with all the trimmings, while wife orders a slice of dry toast and a black coffee…. or, husband orders hearty steak’n’ale pie, wife orders tuna salad. It is suggested that men and women ‘do gender’ by consuming gender-appropriate foods. Did you know that only 5% of Michelin-starred kitchens in the UK are headed by women? Household labour is historically a women’s obligation, from shopping, through to cooking, and subsequently presenting the meals, whereas men are associated with some of the most prestigious roles. Sex refers to the biological differences between men and women, whereas gender refers to socially constructed roles of, and relations between men and women. And apparently, there is a strong relationship between gender and food production, preparation and consumption.

There is a glut of literature looking at the division of labour between men and women; mothers of young children, traditionally, were primarily housewives to their husbands’ role of breadwinner. However, these days not all couples have such a division of labour. Women’s education, employment and childbearing patterns exert pressure on traditional roles, which can be a source of conflict. Yet for many women, it is still a domestic obligation to get tea on the table, do the shopping and make sure his highness has a fresh pair of grundies every morning…. well that’s what it was like in my family. Links to domestic violence have been suggested, in that household disputes over women’s obligation to cater to her husband’s culinary demands and preferences can trigger violence. Feminist writing also suggests that violence directed towards women is representative of violence towards animals, suggesting that meat is a symbol of patriarchy, and women who are vegetarians do so partly to reject male dominance. Even though I would consider myself a feminist - I’m quite partial to the occasional sausage - and so is her ladyship. Conversely, men who do not eat meat are considered effeminate; they challenge gender stereotypes. Nevertheless, evidence suggests that men consider meat to be a more important element of the diet than do women. Men are said to eat more crisps, fried food and processed meat such as sausages, pies, pork pies, burgers and corned beef. Also, women are more likely than men to agree with the statement: ‘I feel food controls my life,’ which may be related to a woman’s greater involvement in food planning and preparation, as well as guilt in relation to eating.

It appears the majority of the evidence on co-habiting couples focuses on heterosexual relationships; it would be interesting to study same-sex couples, both male and female to see whether the same trends apply, and how the domestic roles are divided. Who does the food shopping and cooking in a same-sex relationship? Is it equally shared, or do us queer folks slip into certain roles just like the ones our parents had? The lovely lady and I tend eat more or less the same food and pretty much work as a team and do our bit, we both (occasionally) clean, take it in turns to cook but, I always do the washing, and my better half always makes the fire… does this mean she’s the man in the relationship, or is it we tend to do things we’re better at? I’d like to do a mini-study on this topic, and would be really interested to hear your views and experiences about who does the shopping and cooking, and whether you think lesbians, gays, bi’s and transgender couples have specific roles in relation to food, or any other issues on this matter you think are relevant.

Please email your thoughts to me.

Olivia Cruise